“when did I get left behind ?”

I was trying to wash some stuff the other day and the washing machine got the better of me. It looks like the options I chose came out to 478 minutes of cycle time and 10 hours of drying. Now forgive me but that does not sound right. I doubt it takes that long to weave or knit the things I am trying to wash. I could plead ignorance and say the instructions are not in English but I have actually downloaded them (the net is wonderful for this sort of thing). 57 pages,,,, yes 57 pages of instructions for the washer dryer and it only takes 5gk max load. Now using the instructions I can get the time down to a respectable 80 minutes washing but the drying is still a mystery so using the rack provided on the small terrace.

This got me thinking, there is an Einstein quote “Everything should be as simple as possible, but no simpler” thing I should recommend it to whoever wrote these instructions.

I am not sure exactly when technology overtook me but it has and it seems also to have raced off into the distance somehow.

What happened to washing machines with hot / cold, delicate / cotton, full / half. That’s all I need. The machine we have seems to also transport you into the future and predict the weather. I am not a Luddite by any meansIi have been unsuccessfully trying to convince Judi to buy to a High definition TV for a year or two. (we now have two which come with the flat ha!). I have an iPod and an iPhone and even a set or wireless speakers. So no entirely Neanderthal.  

Apart from the washing machine we have an electric hob which has 10 different combinations of rings each with 9 heat settings. Lucky for me the oven has only 3 dials so i am a little more confident about that. I have yet to download the instructions so sticking to one ring of the hob. This equipment of course also warns me that the ring is still hot even when it is turned off. I am slightly surprised it does not talk to me a bit like HAL in 2001 “Steve I don’t think you should put your hand there the temperature will sear the first four Epithelium layers of your left hand” in a nice quiet soothing voice. I was happy with 4 gas rings and thought automatic ignition was a huge leap forward. Not sure I needed more than that.

We purchased an iron last weekend which has (and I kid you not) 26 translations of the instructions although none in English.
It was made in France so maybe they still bear a grudge anyway given its only an iron how difficult can it be.
The clock radio was fine even without English I could work it out. The two air conditioning units slightly more complex as the units are identical but the controllers are different but I do have plenty of time and I can be very persistent.

There is a water purification unit under the sink which takes up about half of the cabinet which I am not even going close to and the video controlled building entrance has yet to be decoded. It has a record, view and away buttons and can probably be updated via the web somehow.

There is another Einstein quote “it’s not that I am smarter just that i stay with problems longer” so I will eventually catch up with the 21st century. I mean I managed to set up a blog right,, not sure anyone is reading it but it is keeping me amused.


Have to go there was a noise on the landing and when I opened the door there are 8 chairs there, no people just chairs so something is happening.