The curious case of the dog on the lawn

Now if Judi were reading this she would correct me and tell you its “the curious incident of the dog in the night-time” a book by Mark Haddon. Judi has this inbuilt translator for me she knows what I mean even though I don’t say it. Such as I can come home and confidently say ”I bumped into Tony Brown today” and Judi will say “you mean Tom Green don’t you” and of course I do. It is slightly unnerving but we get by.

Anyway the reason for the title is linked of course to the book. I don’t read many novels (more of a factual reader and mostly history but I read this book quite a while back and it is about an autistic boy who is trying to solve a canine murder. During the book he has to take a tube (remember like a train but it goes underground) and he sits on the platform counting and timing the trains before getting the courage to actually get on one.

Well that was where I was, I was at the Embankment station on route to Heathrow to pick up yet another hire car. Avis this time as Hertz had run out which was interesting given only yesterday they sent me an email telling me “we miss you” and they were looking forward to seeing me again soon (I have hired two cars from them in the last two weeks, go figure).

So navigate the ticket machine after I had helped the Croatian load up his Oyster card. Through the special needs barrier as I have a rucksack with two Pc’s and a case to cover everything I need for my three week trip. Found the correct line “District” correct platform “West bound” carried the case down the stairs and was now on the platform standing as close to the wall as possible. There are trains and people coming thick and fast but not all going where I was so it was a case of being able to step forward at the right moment to try and squeeze myself onto the correct train. Standing there it seemed like I was in one of those music videos where the singer is stationary and everyone else is moving at high speed. It was easier to just stand there, maybe in five minutes it will be quieter, maybe the next one will have more space, Maybe if I stand here for a while the Enterprise will lock onto me and just beam me aboard. I fear if I step out at the wrong moment with my case I could do some serious damage to the flow of humanity sweeping past me.

I develop a plan at the next human gap I will step forward to the edge of the platform and then wait for the right train. I only have to let four trains pass before I manage to get aboard. Tip always push your case in first people naturally shy away in the face of a big suitcase. If you get on with your suitcase after you then you are the one in the way.

Now we are on our way. Change at Hammersmith to the “Piccadilly” line and off at Heathrow. Some confusion with the signage and terminal 1 ceases to exist halfway along. Somehow I end up at terminal 2 ok no bother there will be shuttle busses from there. A ten minute wait was ok and onto the bus. Round trip to terminal 3 where someone tries to get on with 3 suit cases and 8 people. Too much for our half full carriage so we decline him and radio for a bus just for him (and the other 7).

No issue with the car hire no inquisition about why the license is English, credit card is American and Address is Russian. I was quite disappointed really. I speed off into the night well as far as terminal 5 which is where Judi is coming. 10:30 pm arrival and with the time drop her body clock will register 1:30 am.

I have my “this is you Husband” sign for her so she will recognize me so lets see how it goes.

The book by the way was worth reading so if you remember next time you are in the book store give it a try.
I still have not managed to get that Clive James one. I must try again I have a 12 hour flight coming up and Suduko may not be enough