Perverse logic

I have a phrase for anything which defies normal convention. When the rule you have to follow does not make any sense at all.
A good example of this occurred over the weekend which I spent with Berni and Michelle in the back of beyond. The actual name is Stones Green and it is lost somewhere between Colchester and Clacton-on-Sea in Essex. I arrived in Colchester after a 3 hour drive where I had managed to cover probably 120 miles on London’s premier motorway the infamous M25. Part of the problem was due to widening works which started the day after it was opened in 1985 and someone realized they should have built it with more than 3 lanes so first they added a 4th lane in places put on variable speed limits to slow you down and currently they are extending it to 6 lanes.

So not the best of journeys but I enjoyed my hire car. It is a stick shift and I have been driving automatics for around 5 years and the first thing you notice is that you can rev the engine. With an automatic you put you foot down and “eventually” the speed increase. With a stick shift you get that immediate kick and it is fun. Still have to be careful as I am on the ”correct” side of the road and some of the rules are different.

Worth commenting that the girl at the car hire noticed I had an English driving license and American credit card and a Russian address. I asked if she wanted me to explain but she knew it would only slow is down so to her credit she said it should be fine.

On to Colchester which was a big Roman city back in the day and needed rebuilding after the Boudicca rebellion (you can Google her). I also has some fine Norman churches which have probably not been updated since they were built. So off to see my brother and find a cute little house in a little knot of houses which is less than a village (no pond I think) a very nice garden on the side with some of my favorite flowers a little grass and a sweet if energetic dog. Anyone who knows my personal dream will remember a house in the country with a garden and a dog. Now this particular brother is much younger than me and he seems to have been living my dream for a couple of years now which is just not cricket as we would say. Not seen Berni and Michelle for probably 3 or 3.5 years but it only feels like yesterday and the conversation is easy as we catch up on family events. We organize a Sunday morning trip to a boot sale which is just a market for people ot sell their personal belongings and very random they will be. I arrive the following morning at 8:30 ready to tramp around a field for 2 or 3 hours. Boot sales in England are an interesting insight into our culture and now firmly entrenched in our Sunday morning rituals. For the American readers think of all of the garage sales in a 20 mile radius being in the same place. You have to pay to sell things and you have to pay to get in to buy things. The process is you go and buy other peoples crap (sorry) until you have collected enough crap (sorry) to set up and sell your crap (sorry) to everyone else.

That is not the perverse logic. Boot sales are normally in a field somewhere fairly remote and given you will be buying things you normally go by car. At this particular site it costs 50 pence for every car but a full pound if you come on foot. Now forgive me but cars normally take 4 people so it is slightly bizarre to charge people double for walking in especially as their carbon footprint will be negligible. Maybe I missed something but a pound to walk in as half a pound to drive 4 people in seems wrong. All I buy is a few DVD of an English sit com “Gavin and Stacy” which Judi will be pleased about. (I am not spoiling the surprise by commenting as she isn’t reading the blog yet). Anyway a fine time is had by all.

Given my experience of getting to Stones Green I give myself 4 hours to get back and decide to go clockwise this time over the Dartford bridge. I manage to get back to the car rental in just over 2. I enjoyed the drive which was quite fast most of the way. Not sure if I will get a few follow up letters regarding speeding fines but it was fun whilst it lasted. Back to Heathrow to pick up my Tube (it’s like a train but it goes underground remember) Piccadilly line to Hammersmith (sorry Bev and Richard I was on a schedule) switch to the district line and off at the embankment. A very short walk to the hotel and there is Trafalgar square with Nelson on top of his column. Another weekend gone and a new adventure about to begin so must iron a shirt they have been crushed into my case for too long.