Category: Personal

I am sweating and out of breath so maybe not as quiet as I had hoped. I am in the middle of what is supposed to be the Yoga class but the speed this guy is working us you might think it is Pilates. My yoga is more relaxed but right now I seem to be in some form of circuit training. Up down Stretch, downward dog, plank, squat, pigeon, camel, etc and did I mention it was only 8 am. So much for a quiet day. It didn’t start that well either it seems “I” forgot to hang out the morning tea and coffee sign so I had to scurry off and get it myself. When you do it yourself you can only carry one of each so limited caffeine which is not helping. The session ends with us breathing colors whatever that is Blue, Ggreen, Yellow, Orange and finally Red. I am sure it helps but my mind is not in a relaxed state so apart from the stretching I feel limited benefits.

Once over it is time for breakfast which means dodging the ditherers. The people who stand staring at food unable to make a decision fried or scrambled. white bread or brown. This is made worse by the sheer volume of options available. From steak to Ice cream. I am happy with toast and a couple of eggs and lots and lots of coffee. There is one guy who is now a feature of the dining as he is very frail and it takes several minutes for him to lower himself into a chair and even longer to get up again. I don’t say this in jest but to note anyone can cruise and well done to those who do. We will all be old at sometime and if I still have the gumption to travel around the world like this guy then I will have good reason to be pleased with myself. It is all to easy to get frustrated with people as they age but remember what ever life you are living it is because someone before you built it. They are not all national hero’s most just ordinary people doing ordinary jobs but all part of what ever system or process which allows you to live the lifestyle of your choice and do what ever you chose to do right this minute. Next time you see one say thanks or help them along, your turn will surely come.

After Breakfast we go and find a shady spot on the deck, this lasts for 30 minutes as we plan to go to a lecture on Alexandria which is our next port of call. I know little about this place so the idea of someone giving me the low down saves me the reading. Jo the host is funny and a little irreverent but informative so worth the effort. He does go on and on about the sunsets too long though. I think to myself the ones I saw at lake Titicaca will live with me forever (the pictures should be on Picassa under Peru) and seriously doubt these will be anywhere close.

Back to the shady deck for 30 minutes then the ping pong tournament starts, click, click,,, click, click,,,, click click,,, The Cruise champion is crowned inside 40 minutes ( I think he is semi professional) and order is resumed and other 30 minutes and it is time for lunch. Think the old guy has not quite finished breakfast but game as ever he is trying to sit down to the Chinese buffet.

Back to the not so shady spot and drag the chairs around a bit, 30 minutes and the water volleyball starts, The pool can accommodate around 20 people so 2 teams of 5 each thrashing around bumping into each other is possibly dangerous but it all ends fairly well. Then the band strikes up. I say band I mean a singer and a bloke on some computerized machine which plays backing tracks. The singer stands in the full sun which makes her a brave girl indeed as she will fry.

Judi is off now she has booked some appointments at the spa. This gives me the opportunity to move down a few decks in lie under one of the lifeboats in the shade. There I manage to write yesterdays blog . I get some time to doze until some kids decide it would be a god idea to chase on another up and down the deck. I am more fearful for their safety than the noise and am glad when the parent arrive. It is the pushchair man from yesterday and he herds them back inside.

I head back to the cabin around 6pm. It is formal night so need to dress up. It is also the Captains cocktail party where all the officers are introduced to the guests with brief explanations of what they do. They don’t look comfortable but this is part an parcel of modern cruising. Getting attached to the crew and visa versa is expected to build on the “experience”. A nice idea but I think they should give the officers a little more help as none of them except the Captain look happy about it. On to the photographs and my turn to look unhappy. I prefer to be on the other end on the lens and find it difficult to strike a natural pose. I give it my best shot and we shall see if this one makes its way home with us. On to dinner which again beats expectations our fellow guests are entertaining and all seem to have traveled more than us so we are full of “what did you think of” questions. At the end of dinner one of the waiters is doing tricks with paper napkins and somehow produces an extremely elaborate rose from a piece if tissue. I should have paid more attention as it was something quite spectacular.

On to the lounge for a night cap. Judi vodka I beer which comes in a can but is huge and must be a full pint. Not what I as expecting but hay its a holiday. We chat with some people until the contingent from the Dominican Republic arrive. On mass they file in like they all just stepped off a bus. There must be 60 of them so a few missing. The bar staff have already warned us about them. It seems the previous night they had the bar open until 3:30 am and were dancing none stop. The crew and the DJ are very pleased to see them as nobody likes to work in an empty bar. As soon as the music starts they are up and on the floor. Samba and Marengo seem to be the favorites. We stay for a couple of drinks until I remember we are crossing a time zone tonight which makes out 8am Yoga calls actually a 7am class, what joy.

So much for a quiet day at sea.

Day 3 A cruise ship should not be this difficult to find

So day 3 starts with coffee and tea which Judi suggested I order so she did not have to go down for breakfast at 8am. So drinks on the balcony watching the sun rise over Rome. The breakfast when we eventually arrive is very good and thoughts of “this is what it will be like in France when we eventually give it all up” come to mind (although not sure the waiters will be included). Checkout around 9:45 and the bill has only two errors on it. No 32 euro charge for yesterdays sun lounger mattresses so all is fine. We plan to leave the cases at the hotel and use their shuttle bus to drop into town as I want some linen shirts as it is still very hot. Bus leaves at 10:30 (very civilized) wander down town looking more for shops than sights however we do pass by the Trevi Fountain again and I think it is even busier than yesterday Today is Monday so not sure why there are more tourists. The Centurion is still there this time on his mobile phone, Typical Italian waving his arms around and making gestures even though the caller cannot see him.

try a couple of shops without success even Massimo Dutti does not have much to offer then we spot a couple of shops and bang 4 shirts later we are back on the street. Judi would not let me buy the white linen trousers, she said they were a little too trendy what ever that means. We stop for a coffee on a corner by the Tomb on the unknown soldier and opposite the balcony Mussolini used to rant to the crowds (Google him). Nero said that to control Rome you needed to control the Mob which is the locals, Mussolini knew exactly how to do that.

Time to go back to the hotel and really start out holiday. Today we have to find our boat. The port is a little over an hour away so we are getting a taxi. The shuttle is waiting at the pickup point and we take our seats as we spin one more time past St Peters basilica and out of the old town. A point to note is that they do not allow any new buildings inside the city walls so no skyscrapers or funny shaped glass and steel places. The city has history on every corner and you really need a guide book or you will just wander past something which is 2,000 years old which would be a shame.

Into the taxi and sped North (I think) through some pleasant countryside. Not beautiful but good enough and slightly discolored with all this sunshine. An easy ride along the motorway. When I worked here I drove myself and it was in the days before GPS so navigation was “interesting”. I remember getting on one road when I was going to a friends for dinner. I was following the signs and after about 40 minutes had guessed I had taken a wrong turning. The sign probably said “The Road To Rome (is not this one)” anyway it was a toll road so the first stop was to pay. Trying to explain I needed to turn around the guy motioned an opening just past the toll. I of course had to first pay to get through then pay the same guy to get back across on the other side of the road. Very funny these Italians maybe he was on commission. We can see all the cruise liners at the port as we crest the last rise. Our ship (not boat please) is quite small only 700 passengers. Some of the big ones now take 2,500 to 3,000 so ours should be cozy as Judi puts it. Down into the town we go and head for the ships and there are lots of them. This is a ferry terminal as well as a container port so around the docks entrance it is chaotic. Our taxi driver is not quite sure where he is going and we have to steer him away from going on to one of the car ferries however at this level we seem to have lost all of the cruise ships. Now you would think that would be difficult but not so. Given all the ferries in the way we can not actually see where our craft is. Judi is only panicking mildly. It is 3pm and the ship sales at 6 so we actually have lots of time although the meter is still running. We suggest the river stops and asks but he is a man (they don’t like to do this) and an Italian as well ( really don’t like to do this) however our persistence pays off and he stops at a small cafe and gets directions. We are in the right place but there is a very small side road to take, whilst it is a small road it is quite long so a couple of kilometers later there we are in front of the Royal Princess. A tiny ship amongst it’s bigger cousins.

Now here is an interesting conundrum we all know Judi likes to be early in fact “likes” is probably not the right word. Well let me tell you boarding started at 1pm and Judi had planned not to get here until 3 pm. Why I hear you ask as you climb back onto your chairs, well the bottle neck created by everyone arriving for a 1pm check in is more than she can stand. So she reasons that by 3 pm the crowds will have died down and there will be less hassle. She is correct of course (and you ever doubted it, I thought not). We are the “ONLY” people checking in at this time. The only hitch is they plan to keep our passports which makes both of us nervous. We have our passports close to hans all the time and have done for about 10 years. Someone saying they will look after them for a couple of weeks makes the heart race a little especially when you think we are visiting 4 more countries along the way. Ok deep breath its part of the process so we toe the line. Onto the ship greeted at every doorway and every elevator shown to our cabin which is not bad at all. Judi thinks it is too near the lift but we shall wait and see. We got an upgrade to this one from a cabin with restricted views (The lifeboat blocks the window) so probably best not to complain about it. Test the emergency drill which is compulsory and Judi’s drill which is an orientation of the ship so we know where everything is. Back to the cabin and unpack. Everything gets unpacked and there are even enough hangers for both of us.

All that is left is dinner. We are on a fixed table and it is always interesting to see who your fellow diners are. There is a couple from Billarickie he works in freight forwarding (what ever that is) and a couple from County Down in Ireland. He used to train horses and she is a school teacher. Everyone seems to have traveled a lot so think this might work out ok. The dinner was better than expected with decent steak and fish. I had a Crawfish and Black Mussel Cajun dish with pastry on the top not what I expected but never the less very good. I do need to watch out as it was listed as a “a specialty dish” and you know me and “I’ll have the special” it normally gets me into somewhat of a pickle.

So now our holiday has actually started. I am really glad we took the time in Rome it really was nice and it reminded me why I think it is my favorite city (european edition) Tomorrow we should dock in Sorrento for an excursion to Pompeii. A 7:30 leave so a 6:30 wake up and I though this was a holiday. To cap it off Judi has booked me in for the 8 am Yoga sessions for the days when we are not on excursions, you got to love that girl.

Yesterday I forgot one of the dress code violations. Down at the pool there was a guy not sure of the actual nationality however he was short with light red hair. Taking off his shirt revealed freckles and a pasty white chest which may never have seen the sun before. The real problem was that he was wearing speedo’s and not just any speedo’s but white ones which made his flesh even that much duller. Now the sight of this was fearful enough but the thought that he might get into the pool was even more terrifying as the swimsuit might turn translucent. I have no idea what the manufacturer was thinking but the shop assistant is also to balme how can you sell these to someone with pale flesh and freckles no,no,no.

Day 1 Moscow to Rome

So it is late I think. We are in the Hotel Cavalieri which is the Waldorf Astoria over looking Rome and before you go thinking that is posh, the deal I got off the internet was too good to be true. I really though someone would ring me up and say there had been a mistake like that one in the news the other day who posted a rate of $0.02 cents per day and had to honor the bookings a $90,000 mistake so someone’s career has possibly been curtailed a little. Anyway to add to the hotel we also booked their limo to pick us up from the airport as it was only 20 Euro difference between them an a taxi and they know where the hotel is the taxi might not.

The flight was pretty uneventful although we were going out of Gate 10 which was the one I used to go to Brussels a month or so back (is it a couple of months wow).

The door to the loading bay had a huge lock on it although it did not stop about 15 Russians trying to force it open during the 30 minutes we were hanging around waiting to start boarding. When it was unlocked by security there was a tidal wave of people rushing down the stairs some trying to get in front of the guards which is just silly. Anyway Judi and I tag onto the back of the pack and by the time we get on the bus we seem to be part of the “How many people can you squeeze into an Airport bus” completion. Not sure if our drive actually beat the record but he must have been close. I think if the children count as a full body then the cup should be his by tomorrow.

A tip for you if you find yourself on an airport bus go for the middle door on the left. Planes board on their left from the front and the bus approaches them from the front so an ideal position I find. Well this time is was anyway as I was second onto the plan which given we were in row 27 was a good thing. Judi being less focused was unfortunately one of the also rans in this particular leg of the “Great race”. Don’t worry I would not have let them take off without her well probably not anyway as she knows where the boat tickets are. So apart from the girl in the third seat of our row putting her mascara on as the plane took off (the flight was 3 and a half hours so not sure what the rush was to get it done then) and a girl two rows back who managed to talk continuously and loudly for the whole flight (not sure she ever drew breath) and yes I do mean the whole flight there was no much going on. We were flying Aeroflot in a new Airbus so the plane was fine. Somehow I go a window seat which is never my choice. I don’t like the way the wings flap around on take off. I know it all works but planes are heavy and I was never good at physics I just assume the pilots are and assume it will be ok.

A ripple of applause broke out to announce our landing, never quite sure what makes people do that possibly a relief sort of thing.

We had been up from 5 30 am to get to the airport for 6:15 a good 30 minutes before the check in opened and 3 hours before the plane was due to leave. Judi did try and get us through but we got turned back by the security. Most of the flight was taken up be catching up on sleep. Passport control in Rome was a guy waving at us to go through and the cases came quite quickly which beats some of the experiences we have had recently. We do seem to have a lot of cases, 3 checked plus a wheelie and my rucksack but to be honest all are only half full. I am taking “Nancy’s” approach to holidays which s that all you really need is a credit card and a toothbrush so whilst we have the luggage there is room for purchases..

The airport is Fuminciaro (not sure of the spelling) and is somewhat familiar as it was the one I used when I worked in Rome (although that is closing in on 20 years ago).

Finding our driver reminded me of all of those little frustrating things the latin character has to offer. Lots of drivers with signs but not ours and after a phone call to the Hotel to confirm that the driver was actually there we tramped back and forth to eventually fine a middle aged lady talking on her phone with my name on the back of an envelope written in biro. Perhaps it was something of an inconvenience to have us getting in the way of what ever she really wanted to do. Thinking this is worth a mention to the hotel when we arrive, we step out into 37 degree sunshine. Not sure what 37 converts to but its hot. The silver Jaguar waiting a few meters way did something to calm us down as did the air conditioning inside it.

The hotel is on one of the hills to the North West of Rome so a winding route and a 40 minute drive. I even recognized some of the places on the way which made me feel good (no dementure yet then). A not quite modern hotel but very grand with lots of people fawning over us. Rooms not ready so we sit on the veranda coffee for me an a glass of wine for Judi (well it would have been 3 pm in Moscow). I was tell in Judi about the Beach holiday blog and she was trying to back track holidays to work out when the last “do nothing” holiday was. She tried to convince me that is was Belize until I reminded her we spent 4 hours on an unmade road in the back of a full 8 seater coach going to one temple in Nicaragua and that we had to have an armed guard escort us there and back to a second. Went on horseback to a third (And I got thrown) and a boat to a fourth so not what “I” would consider as relaxing.

The room is even bigger than the pictures showed and overlooks Rome (check out he pictures on Picassa) We decide to wait until 4 pm to go into town the Vatican is only a ten minute ride away. A down hill taxi ride reminded me why the Italian like Formula 1 so much they all think they should get a seat in the race. Suddenly you turn a corner and there it is. The Vatican in all its glory. It is just as you would expect however as you get nearer and go inside it takes on another format. It is huge and it must have awed anyone who saw it when it was first erected. The thought crossed my mind that we will be in Jerusalem in a week or so and how come Rome is the center of the Catholic faith whilst Israel is where it all happened. Not to worry there is so much to see. We have been to many cathedrals this is possibly the biggest although maybe not the grandest never the less it is iconic. We try and get to the Sistine chapel but it had closed so it means another trip back sometime. It is on my list and tried three times now so next time it needs better planning.

We wander around the town which is actually very quiet. Judi thinks everyone but the tourists have left the city and given the heat I don’t blame them. We are heading for the river to find somewhere to eat when we chance upon a square full of artists and restaurants. The funny thing is I have been here before and tripped up over it last time. Not really looking for it but just sort of stumbled across it. So we decide that’s where we will eat Judi finds one which is listed in a guide book (which we don’t have) and down we sit. Fresh pasta and simple salads. It does not take much to make a good meal just good fresh ingredients. We sit and idly watch the artists and the musicians playing and remembering many many different places we have been and dinners we have had.

It is only day one of the vacation and this has been a good one. My favorite city (because it is chock full of history every corner brings something) the sunshine a good meal and a couple of drinks a great way to start a vacation. Tomorrow we will have a real route and a plan. None of today’s adhoc wanderings so I best get some rest.

(I only took 238 pictures today so goodness knows what the total tally will be, they are not all there)
http://picasaweb.google.com/nolanste/RomeDay1August2009#

So what’s wrong with a nice quiet beach holiday

Good question and one I ask myself every now and again. I remember a couple of trips to Blackpool when I was a kid. (as one of 10 kids trips were are rare occurrence so they were remembered) There is even a picture of me on Blackpool beach all ribs and skinny arms. The place was around 90 minutes from where we lived so not exactly an adventure but when you are 8 or 10 any trip is exciting.

If you know me you know I like new places I think I have only been back to the same place two or three times. Bangkok is one and there is something about the place it used to be very dirty and smog ridden full of un-metered taxi’s and Tuktuk’s which are three wheeler motorbikes. These days the smoke has gone and there is an underground and a monorail. The “water taxi’s are still exciting you literally jump onto a boat and roar down the river to the stop you want and jump off.  Health and safety would not allow it in most country’s but it is one of those experiences you need to try once just to be able to tell people how scary it is.

So back to the question, it came to mind as we are 3 days from our next vacation. A Mediterranean cruise  which combines the best of what we need. We get to see different places but only have to unpack once. We used to try and cram a weeks adventure traveling around then a week in the same place doing nothing but it would seem those times are long gone. We have done holidays where you just keep moving and are in a different place every other night which means you never really unpack you just rummage around your bag trying to find things and wondering why you though it was a good idea to bring 3 jackets to a place which is 100 degrees. I met a woman in the US who says when you travel all you need is a toothbrush and a visa card which is a challenge but worth considering. Not sure I have ever had a holiday where I have either run out of clothes or regretted not bringing something.

It is different for business travel that I have down to an art form a single carry on can support me for 2 weeks and despite what Judi thinks putting things into plastic bags to organize them works for me. Having a house full of saved bags is somewhat of a drag but you need a stock to work from. These days I have progressed from shopping carrier bags to these new vacuum bags where you squeeze the air out. There is a down side which is that you can get far more into you bag so it gets heavier.  We have a golden rule on packing and cases. “You can take what ever you want as you are carrying it” it was concocted when Judi wanted to take 6 pairs of shoes to Santorini. This is a small Greek island and we spent two weeks in t-shirts, shorts and flip flops. Six pairs of shoes I think not but if my darling wants to take something then of course she can she is carrying it.

Santorini was probably our only “beach” holiday if only because it was so small there was actually nothing to do. I hired a car one day and it took me only a couple of hours to complete a full lap of the place. The biggest stretch of tarmac was the airport runway. A day out was to go to the main town 30 minutes away and watch the cruise ships disgorge all their passengers into the jewelry shops and café’s. Ironically we will be those people in a couple of weeks as it is one of the stops on the cruise. So I will return to a place I have been before. This time though I know exactly which jewelers I will go to. It is one we went into on our first visit which had some really unique gold items which at the time were well out of my price range. They probably still are but I have regretted buying Judi a necklace at least once a month ever since. So this time I will buy something just to get it out of my system.  Don’t worry about spoiling the surprise Judi is still not reading my blogs. (Word has just told me blog is not a valid word spelling think they need to get wit the times)

So off around Europe on a boat for a couple of weeks, I have a plan to blog about where we are every day so allocate some time to check for updates. I will also try and post pictures on Picassa but don’t worry I will include links. Listen to me it sound almost like I know what I am doing with all this technology. The reality of course is that I am at the limit of my capabilities and hanging on by a thread. The phrase “I am not technically gifted” springs to mind.

What is interesting about this trip is that it is less than a week before we travel and there are no piles of clothes around. Judi normally starts laying out clothes (and shoes) at least a week before they go into cases. Not this time although that might be because there is actually nowhere to put piles in the place we are in it is too small. In the States we had a whole bedroom devoted to this. It became a staging area where cases and clothes were stored and exchanged for other cases and clothes as we finalized our requirements.

This morning Judi even told me she has yet to book a taxi to the airport. The airport is Domodedovo which is the one serviced by the express train. I think if she is using a taxi then it is because the cases will be big. The train station is 20 minutes away from the flat which might be a drag too far although I did it on my recent adventure.

I have not got around to answering my question yet (sorry for the rambling)

I think there are so many interesting places in the world it would be remiss of me not to at least try and see as many as I can whilst I can. I am knocking on a bit now and I have this vision in my head of me in some old peoples home staring at the wall and when I eventually am physically there I will be remembering all the wonderful places I have been and the silly things we did and smiling inside.
I do not deride people who choose to return to familiar places again and again and secretly wish I could do that.
Maybe the next holiday will be lying on a beach somewhere (maybe next to a temple or a medieval fort or old city wall)

So almost ready to take off. Smiler decides to take the newspapers round and the babushka in the window set takes a copy of every one available. She ends up with five which I think is a little excessive even for a 4 hour flight. Maybe she will make fire lighters out of them when she gets home. Blond lady and she are getting along famously. I have no idea at all what they are talking about but they seem happy. I look for my peanuts and as I pour some into my hand two more appear. Both ladies to my right are holding their hands out for some and smiling broadly. Actually I am fine with this as the bag is much bigger than I usually buy and given I do not have enough personal discipline not to eat them all it is good someone will help me.

 

Ok we are off and in the air. Once leveled out someone tried to use the toilet at the front of the cabin and gets chased out by the business class stewardess who defends her territory like an Alsatian. Jerking the curtain closed so we do not disturb the some business class passenger who is unfortunate to be the sole focus of her attention for the next four hours. My new BFF’s and I continue to share the peanuts until smiler arrives with the drinks trolley. My companions order two drinks Babushka wants diet coke and a tomato juice the blond orange and fizzy water. I think they are trying to get their money’s worth. I just get orange.

 

About this time my previous row companion who seemed to b contemplating changing a diaper whilst in the middle seat cross from me is chased out by the angry Rottweiler in business. This means she needs to pass the drinks trolley which is at row 12 of 38. Smiler pulls it back into business to let her through and again from row 15 when she comes back. Rather than returning to her seat she decides to get something out of the overhead. Unable to do this with the little octopus she passes him to me. Mmmm still trying to get the blood to flow from our last encounter I guide his feet to the floor of the aisle rather than onto my knees. As soon as he feels something solid under his feet he is off however I have hold of his reins so he does not get far. He tries a couple of attempts to wriggle free but to no avail. He takes his wrath out on the closest thing which is half a glass of water which the passenger was hoping to drink rather than mop up. Smiler magically arrives with tissues whilst mum picks him up and goes back to her seat with a bag with a box in it. Out of the bag she pulls a box which contains a brand new portable DVD player. Now forgive me but I think she might have enough to keep her occupied than trying to get a new DVD to work and I personally doubt the battery will be charged up enough for her to get it running. If she is trying to pacify the toddler he is far more interested in the box (go figure). Lunch or dinner comes and goes with both my companions having rice and fish plus vodka which I have something resembling pasta with mince. It matters not what it is as it is just there to occupy the time.

 

Just to liven up the proceedings two more children have been released to run up and down the aisle bumping into things knocking things over and generally banging themselves into hard objects until they cried. When not on a path of self destruction they pass the time by pulling each other hair and stealing one another’s toys. I am not sure what logic the parents are using which makes them believe this is a good idea and you can feel the tension rise during the track and field events. Eventually they get tired and all sit down again.

 

I take the opportunity to visit the toilet and find a male steward leaning against the door. He moves aside and I find that his job this trip is to hold the door shut as someone has broken the lock. Back to my seat which now resembles the boot sale I went to last week. The blond lady is looking for something in her sack of a handbag and is systamatically emptying the contents onto my chair. If you have heard of the Tardis then this is the closest I have come to it. She collects everything up in her arms so I can regain my seat then promptly dumps everything into my lap. (It’s only 4 hour’s whistles through my mind). Eventually she finds her holy grail and pulls out a diary. She and babushka are swapping telephone numbers and addresses. We easily get everything back into the bag and it somehow slides under the seat in front of us.

 

We are starting to descend you can tell by the way the children start to get agitated. We will actually land on time which means we picked up around 50 minutes. This is needed as this plane has to turn around and get back to Heathrow before it closes. Landing is a little bumpy but the old adage “any landing you can walk away from is a good one” serves us well. The pilot gets a hearty round of applause which I always find entertaining. Pull into the gate and there is a mad dash however I remain seated. I know we are not getting off until the medical team has given us the all clear. Next comes the announcement for everyone to go back to their seats. The medical team board and start to use thermal cameras to check up out and even after they leave the plane everyone still seems a little reluctant to cross the threshold into business to deplane just in case they get bitten by the mad dog up there. Well I have been travelling now for 26 hours so I doubt I would feel anything so off I go.

 

First off the plane is unnerving as there are no signs and wherever you go people will follow. At the end of the gangway there are three options up down or right. I remember last time we were bused from the plan and Passport control was on the ground floor so I guess down. If I am wrong then there will be 150 disappointed people glaring at me. I guess correctly and am first at the control point. Through and even better news my bag is 5th off the plane. Through the green channel and all that is left is to walk the full length of the airport to get the train. 250 rubles for my ticket and only ten minutes to departure my luck is holding. On the train there is a woman with a shopping trolley selling drinks and chocolate so that is my treat for myself. 40 minutes later I am in the center of Moscow waiting on the pavement for Judi to pick me up. Lots of unmarked cars stopping to see if I want a lift but not this time.

Judi arrives I fling my bag in the boot and slip into the front seat.

Judi “How was the trip?”

Me “Fine just fine, another ordinary trip”.
Judi “There is always something interesting on my flights maybe you need to pay more attention to whats going on around you”
Me “that’s a thought, maybe next time I will”
I lean back and sink into the leather seat and close my eyes for a moment

There was an African and Englishman and two girls from Croatia

No it is not the start of an interesting joke or the cast list for a Porn flick it is the precise number of people waiting for passengers at Terminal 5 on a Friday evening. Judi is on the last plane to land. I have my sign ready to hold up but to be honest if she can not recognize me in this small but dedicated group then as the say in the films “Huston we have a problem”.

Well of course she finds me and off we trot to the car park. Try the first pay station and put in my ticket the screen responds by saying “welcome to the hardware wizard” which is not a good start. Move on to the next one and it says 10 pounds 26 ( I am 3 minutes over the 2 hours ). Ok got cash and look for the place to stick it in but pasted over the paper money slot is a “not in use” label. Ok now lets fumble around for my credit cards. Judi suggests we use hers and given my recent record with cards I am quite grateful. I remember a huge banner in the entrance to T5 from British Airways saying “welcome to our home” well to be honest sunshine your home needs a bit of work.

Next thing is to navigate around the perimeter of Heathrow which I used to do every other week so it is an easy task. Then M4, M25, M40 Off at the Uxbridge turn off and towards Gerrards Cross and the next thing you know its Saturday morning. Only a slight panic waking up and wondering where I am. Not helped by the fact that Judi is not there. Judi “Never” gets up before me especially at weekends. Of course I had forgotten about the 3 hour time change I think it is 8 am Judi thinks it is 11 am. Ok where’s the coffee.

Off back into town and we manage to get stuck in a traffic jam on the Motorway (freeway). I think it is a particularly English thing that we would build a highway road system which is in fact now slower that the ordinary road it was built to avoid. Anyway the fastest way to travel these days seems the be by avoiding the motorways altogether. Park the hire car at Hammersmith and get the Tube (that train that goes underground) into Leicester square and walk backwards to Covent garden. Now the experts amongst you will be thinking Hammersmith ?? You could get off at Covent Garden why go to Leicester Square. Good question and the answer is Covent Garden has a lift which you get squashed into and not an escalator it makes Judi nervous and given my sole purpose in life it to make her happy what’s a 10 minute walk.

We meet up with friends from way back and there two charming girls. A coffee and a pint later we are off to the next appointment. First a quick trip into Marks & Spencer Food court for Pork pies and sandwiches. Pork pies are a very English thing and not a delicacy you tend to find once you leave this isle. There are not many things I miss about the land of my birth but Pork pies probably top the list. (then Baxter’s beetroot).

Back on the tube ( train thing) we pass the food back and forth much to the annoyance of everyone else in the carriage. I half expected someone to tut at us. I know alcohol is banned aud not sure if food is as well but I am hungry so I am willing to take the risk. Off at Hammersmith and walk to our friends. They live in a quiet side street which we have visited more times than we care to remember. This is a special trip a first baby for them and a new traveling companion for us. We arrive just as the new Paternal grandparents are leaving to go shopping so we probably have a couple of hours before they return. Bev and Richard are beaming and full of hospital and baby story’s. The best being when the surgeon had finished explaining all about the intricacies and inherent risks of the cesarean he was about to perform and asked Richard if he had any questions the response was “Am I ok to use the flash on my camera in there” a line which I am sure will live with him for a long while.

Judi was against her will required to hold Harry Edward Hawk as he will be known, an experience she does not particularly enjoy but has little option to go along with. All she could say is its (he) is so heavy (around 9lbs so yes a bit) and look at those fingernails. The only other significant comment was Judi asking where are we going on vacation next summer. So seems like Harry has been accepted and whilst I am sure there will be some limitations to our holiday adventures I am sure we can find somewhere acceptable to everyone.

Maybe a house in the South of France with a nice garden and a dog now where have I heard that one recently.

The curious case of the dog on the lawn

Now if Judi were reading this she would correct me and tell you its “the curious incident of the dog in the night-time” a book by Mark Haddon. Judi has this inbuilt translator for me she knows what I mean even though I don’t say it. Such as I can come home and confidently say ”I bumped into Tony Brown today” and Judi will say “you mean Tom Green don’t you” and of course I do. It is slightly unnerving but we get by.

Anyway the reason for the title is linked of course to the book. I don’t read many novels (more of a factual reader and mostly history but I read this book quite a while back and it is about an autistic boy who is trying to solve a canine murder. During the book he has to take a tube (remember like a train but it goes underground) and he sits on the platform counting and timing the trains before getting the courage to actually get on one.

Well that was where I was, I was at the Embankment station on route to Heathrow to pick up yet another hire car. Avis this time as Hertz had run out which was interesting given only yesterday they sent me an email telling me “we miss you” and they were looking forward to seeing me again soon (I have hired two cars from them in the last two weeks, go figure).

So navigate the ticket machine after I had helped the Croatian load up his Oyster card. Through the special needs barrier as I have a rucksack with two Pc’s and a case to cover everything I need for my three week trip. Found the correct line “District” correct platform “West bound” carried the case down the stairs and was now on the platform standing as close to the wall as possible. There are trains and people coming thick and fast but not all going where I was so it was a case of being able to step forward at the right moment to try and squeeze myself onto the correct train. Standing there it seemed like I was in one of those music videos where the singer is stationary and everyone else is moving at high speed. It was easier to just stand there, maybe in five minutes it will be quieter, maybe the next one will have more space, Maybe if I stand here for a while the Enterprise will lock onto me and just beam me aboard. I fear if I step out at the wrong moment with my case I could do some serious damage to the flow of humanity sweeping past me.

I develop a plan at the next human gap I will step forward to the edge of the platform and then wait for the right train. I only have to let four trains pass before I manage to get aboard. Tip always push your case in first people naturally shy away in the face of a big suitcase. If you get on with your suitcase after you then you are the one in the way.

Now we are on our way. Change at Hammersmith to the “Piccadilly” line and off at Heathrow. Some confusion with the signage and terminal 1 ceases to exist halfway along. Somehow I end up at terminal 2 ok no bother there will be shuttle busses from there. A ten minute wait was ok and onto the bus. Round trip to terminal 3 where someone tries to get on with 3 suit cases and 8 people. Too much for our half full carriage so we decline him and radio for a bus just for him (and the other 7).

No issue with the car hire no inquisition about why the license is English, credit card is American and Address is Russian. I was quite disappointed really. I speed off into the night well as far as terminal 5 which is where Judi is coming. 10:30 pm arrival and with the time drop her body clock will register 1:30 am.

I have my “this is you Husband” sign for her so she will recognize me so lets see how it goes.

The book by the way was worth reading so if you remember next time you are in the book store give it a try.
I still have not managed to get that Clive James one. I must try again I have a 12 hour flight coming up and Suduko may not be enough

Judi and I were talking earlier about her trip to London this weekend (remember we are going to see Bev and Richard and the new baby) anyway for some reason I have become the logistics coordinator. Not only did I have to book the flight for her I had to pay for it although my airmiles took the edge of the cost. I also have to hire a car and pick her up. Ok so none of this sounds too much however she asked for a sign so she can find me.

Now I was thinking later “so she can find me” forgive me I have only been away a week. We have known each other for 19 years connected for 15 and we have been married for approaching 11 years so you would think she would remember what I look like. Anyway I will of course make a sign for my darling babe.

It will read “Judi This One Is Your Husband”

I got some of my equipment today, a “Blackberry” something which I have managed to avoid so far. I always thought that having a hand held device with email was somewhat of an invasion of privacy. I used to run 12 hour days as a norm and longer when I was travelling so never really off line for long. I did consider putting it onto my iPod but decided it would be the last nail in the coffin. We tend to open up email in the mornings and from that moment on everyone else rules your life. We play “whack a mole” responding and forwarding email like it’s a bad case of swine flu. (Apologies to Berni and Michelle who came down with a bad case of it immediately after I had left them on Sunday, it was not me honest it must have been someone at the car boot sale). So when exactly did we stop doing work and just do email. Ask yourself when was the last time you shut down email for a couple of hours and got on with a bit of work. Have we developed the ability to multi task (women exclude they always could) can we actually have email open and not respond to that ping or little screen note. Perhaps we need a national no email day or week?

Anyway I am now in instant and immediate, continuous contact with the world via Email, voicemail and the web, I can record my voice, take pictures and video, type myself memo’s and open spreadsheets. Not that my technical capabilities match this wondrous machines so I will probably use it as a phone. Ce la vie

So what else. Well the hotel lifts are working fine tonight which is good. There is torrential rain right now which managed to invade the lower level of the restaurant I was quietly having dinner in. So much so they had to evacuate it. A long line of diners walking past carrying the remnants of their dinners with them. Not sure exactly where they ended up I was engrossed in my Steak and Guinness pie. My Blackberry started to vibrate its way across the table, think that probably means something but not sure what and given nobody knows the number yet think I will leave it until the morning. Not sure I am at the point yet where I am ok to read email during dinner (the voice said it might be important Stephen but I ignore it and order another pint of warm beer).

Well in a hotel facing Trafalgar square which is about as central London as you can get. The place is teeming with tourists with maps stopping every 100 yards and pointing in different directions. Laughingly some have even asked me for assistance. Maybe I just look like I know where I am. Lots of locals rushing around being busy. There are far to many bicycles for my liking possibly something to do with the congestion charges people have to pay to drive a car around here. Watch out world it will happen where you live soon mark my words, cars are an easy target for money, tax, insurance, petrol(gas), parking , parking fines, clamping, speeding fines, tolls, emission all these are the price we pay for trying to get around. There are also lots of people actually running around and none of them looking like they are enjoying it much. They look more like they are in pain. I give them a wide berth I am not good at first aid. I am also paying close attention to crossing the road as I struggle to remember which way to look so staying on the side of caution.

It is the first time I have ever worked in the center of London normally it is just a quick dash in and out but this time I get the chance to hang around after work and saunter around the sites playing at being a tourist. Big Ben, Houses of Parliament, Cleopatra’s needle (saw the other in Luxor) London Eye, Covent Garden and lots lots more although the museums and gallery’s are closed by the time I fininsh.

I have noticed here is lots of security around not because it is actually dangerous more to deter it. When I was out for a smoke break I could see 7 CCTV cameras keeping an eye on me and there were probably more. I read somewhere that England has more cameras per person than any other country. Not sure if this actually stops crime or just records it in High Definition. I wonder if the technology is capable of facial recognition ? They can identify a car plate even if it is traveling at over 70 miles an hour so you would think they could identify a pickpocket or the participants of the brawl outside the pub.

You should see me crisp dark blue suit shirt and tie I really think I look the part. Lets hope they never see through the disguise. Not got my Pc and account yet they say its an 8 week process so I told them I could order one custom built and get it hand delivered from China faster than they could get one up 2 floors of the same building. Lets see if that stirs them into some action. Despite this I am managing to keep myself busy doing stuff. Having fun dissecting the IMPACT report. (This is an in joke for some readers apologies to the rest of you)

Just booked a flight to get Judi over at the weekend one of her best friends has just had her first baby so a quick visit is in order. Bev and Richard have been our constant vacation partners for a very long time. From Dubai to Las Vegas, India to Peru and many many places in between we have had plenty of adventures and now we get an extra team member and built in babysitters for them. I think there is still lots of fun to be had.

Not my week for technology a I am still struggling to get my mini Pc working to specification although I think I may have touch a raw nerve as they did contact we with some things I could try instead of constantly telling me to ship it back to the USA because they is where I purchased it. That might just qualify as perverse logic as they sell them everywhere and repair them everywhere but I need to send mine back to the point of origin. They did not seem amused when I casually suggested it should go to China then. I believe the differentiator between firms is their attitude to their customers after they have your money not before. Anyone can be nice when they are selling you something a really great company makes sure they keep you.

My hotel seems to have a confused lift I tried to get from reception to the eighth floor to my room this evening but once inside it refused to accept my command in fact it would not accept any command it mattered not which button was pressed. All it would do was open and close the doors. (Do you really want to go to your room now Stephen would’nt you like a nice glass of beer instead the voice very much like the one from the cooker at home said inside mt head)  After a couple more people got in and got the same response and then a couple more I decided like a good citizen to go and inform reception. Explaining what was happening I was met with these responses
Me “one of the lifts is not working I pressed several buttons without response and someone else tried as well its not moving” 

He “Are you sure” (think he has a relative working in a cinema somewhere)

I calmly responded by asking if I was on the eighth floor

He “ no sir you are in reception”,

Me “well I am pretty sure” I said.

He “did you press the button sir” (Ok stay calm)

Me “yes I believe I did, several in fact”

He “and it did not go to the eighth floor”

Me “is reception on the eighth floor”

He “no sir it is on the ground floor”

Me “well I am pretty sure”

He “thank you for letting me know”

Me “you are more than welcome”

At this point I decide to go to the bar across the road for a drink rather than go to my room. (good choice Stephen the voice said)

As I pass the lift the doors open and another 4 people try to get in, “have a nice day “I say as saunter past.

 

I have a phrase for anything which defies normal convention. When the rule you have to follow does not make any sense at all.
A good example of this occurred over the weekend which I spent with Berni and Michelle in the back of beyond. The actual name is Stones Green and it is lost somewhere between Colchester and Clacton-on-Sea in Essex. I arrived in Colchester after a 3 hour drive where I had managed to cover probably 120 miles on London’s premier motorway the infamous M25. Part of the problem was due to widening works which started the day after it was opened in 1985 and someone realized they should have built it with more than 3 lanes so first they added a 4th lane in places put on variable speed limits to slow you down and currently they are extending it to 6 lanes.

So not the best of journeys but I enjoyed my hire car. It is a stick shift and I have been driving automatics for around 5 years and the first thing you notice is that you can rev the engine. With an automatic you put you foot down and “eventually” the speed increase. With a stick shift you get that immediate kick and it is fun. Still have to be careful as I am on the ”correct” side of the road and some of the rules are different.

Worth commenting that the girl at the car hire noticed I had an English driving license and American credit card and a Russian address. I asked if she wanted me to explain but she knew it would only slow is down so to her credit she said it should be fine.

On to Colchester which was a big Roman city back in the day and needed rebuilding after the Boudicca rebellion (you can Google her). I also has some fine Norman churches which have probably not been updated since they were built. So off to see my brother and find a cute little house in a little knot of houses which is less than a village (no pond I think) a very nice garden on the side with some of my favorite flowers a little grass and a sweet if energetic dog. Anyone who knows my personal dream will remember a house in the country with a garden and a dog. Now this particular brother is much younger than me and he seems to have been living my dream for a couple of years now which is just not cricket as we would say. Not seen Berni and Michelle for probably 3 or 3.5 years but it only feels like yesterday and the conversation is easy as we catch up on family events. We organize a Sunday morning trip to a boot sale which is just a market for people ot sell their personal belongings and very random they will be. I arrive the following morning at 8:30 ready to tramp around a field for 2 or 3 hours. Boot sales in England are an interesting insight into our culture and now firmly entrenched in our Sunday morning rituals. For the American readers think of all of the garage sales in a 20 mile radius being in the same place. You have to pay to sell things and you have to pay to get in to buy things. The process is you go and buy other peoples crap (sorry) until you have collected enough crap (sorry) to set up and sell your crap (sorry) to everyone else.

That is not the perverse logic. Boot sales are normally in a field somewhere fairly remote and given you will be buying things you normally go by car. At this particular site it costs 50 pence for every car but a full pound if you come on foot. Now forgive me but cars normally take 4 people so it is slightly bizarre to charge people double for walking in especially as their carbon footprint will be negligible. Maybe I missed something but a pound to walk in as half a pound to drive 4 people in seems wrong. All I buy is a few DVD of an English sit com “Gavin and Stacy” which Judi will be pleased about. (I am not spoiling the surprise by commenting as she isn’t reading the blog yet). Anyway a fine time is had by all.

Given my experience of getting to Stones Green I give myself 4 hours to get back and decide to go clockwise this time over the Dartford bridge. I manage to get back to the car rental in just over 2. I enjoyed the drive which was quite fast most of the way. Not sure if I will get a few follow up letters regarding speeding fines but it was fun whilst it lasted. Back to Heathrow to pick up my Tube (it’s like a train but it goes underground remember) Piccadilly line to Hammersmith (sorry Bev and Richard I was on a schedule) switch to the district line and off at the embankment. A very short walk to the hotel and there is Trafalgar square with Nelson on top of his column. Another weekend gone and a new adventure about to begin so must iron a shirt they have been crushed into my case for too long.