Well the head girl (well lead steward or whatever the title is these days) has just announced that given that they have changed planes she has no idea what the films will be. I doubt that will cause the pilot to turn back or a riot in cabin class so let’s just go with the flow.
I am too busy watching the twitcher, there is a woman about four up who seems incapable of remaining seated for more than five minutes. Get up take her jacket off, get up open the overhead take out bag, get up off to the bathroom, get up put on jacket, put bag back take it out again stand up twirl around. I am getting dizzy so turn my attention to the two guys in the row directly in front of me.
They had ordered 2 vodkas and 2 beers from the blond stewardess then they did the same from the brunette and now they ask the skinny one for the same. Neat trick and all before any food is served. Anyway at some point the crew works it out and the boys get a stern look when they try for a fourth time. Anyway they jovially polish off the vodkas and beers each and promptly fall asleep for the rest of the flight.
Sleeping on flights has never been something I can do. Maybe I should try vodka myself. Anyway they crank up the film and guess what “Yes Man” & “Hotel for dogs” seriously “Hotel for Dogs” you have to be kidding what is this a kids flight ?????
If Judi were with me she would be more annoyed that there are no seatback TV screens. She likes to play the inter plane Knowledge quiz. In fact it can keep her occupied for the whole of a Trans Atlantic flight. At the end she will be able to tell me Ed in A28 won 4 but she won 7, B7 did well on Sport and history was the forte of G32, G16 dropped out after only 5 hours and I smile. This is just one of the reasons I love her so much.
Ok back to the iPod but not random, I scared myself last time when “Garth Brooks” was followed by “Oasis” followed by “Madeleine Peyroux” and then “Rufus Wainwright” random is correct and something you don’t want to happen twice, note to self set up genius next time so you get a fighting chance.
Anyway not much else happens on the flight apart from a girl walking her dog, well until she was spotted that is then back in the box sunshine.
So land in sunny sunny Moscow and you know the drill everyone poised for the “ping” then on your feet and everything out of the overhead and ready for the off. Now given the plane is only 1/2 to 1/3 full we all move forward and fill the gaps. Then the announcement comes can everyone return to their seats.
What now, not near enough to the door, wrong gate, airport, day ??.
No they want to check our temperatures which given the excitement regarding swine Flu I am fine with.
In fact I am fine with any and all security measures the authorities want to put in place to safeguard my health and wellbeing. My view is that the checks are not put there to annoy me but to protect me so fine.
Anyway there is not a snowballs chance in hell of me going back to my seat I just find the nearest one and sit down as everyone trudges back past me. So the ground crew come on all rubber gloves and masks (I may have seen this scene in a film with Dustin Hoffman about rabid monkeys). So they point their equipment at people’s ears and if ok they are off if they are hot then held back. I am Joe cool so I am off and running.
The next part is the one I dread on any trip “Passport control”. I know everything is in order and up to date but still something which can make me break out in a cold sweat.
But without so much as a second glance the stamp comes down on my passport with a thump and I am in.
Call my babe and tell her I am through and getting my bags and suddenly remember the dead weight one which I hand to the kind man who has come to collect me. He drags it off to the car and between the two of us we manhandle it into the boot, he gives me that look as if to say “ you smuggling bricks sunshine” I shrug “spasiba”
Let the fun begin